Showing posts with label despair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label despair. Show all posts
Sunday, 26 December 2010
Like Rust Soaked in the 'Iron'ies of Life...
Geography changes...History doesn't
History remains buried like a corpse in the graveyard of time...
Waiting for reawakening...
Waiting for rejuvenation...
History breathes through recollections...
The Past is an old friend...
Decomposing like rust...
Soaked in the 'iron'ies of life...
Talking about the past...
An old woman used to sit along the sidewalk selling red roses...
now only withered flowers is what one finds there...
Abandoned hospitals, abandoned asylums, abandoned cities, abandoned people, abandoned memories...A place which once existed as reality now lies on the fringes of decay...
A celebrated actress fettered in the shackles of her own image and consciousness gives in to abnormality and finally invites her death...
A hospital which once served as the birthplace of some... now celebrates its doomsday
An asylum where mentally unstable people found stability in one another... no longer exists...
Decaying floor, the ceiling falls apart...
just like the minds of those that once inhabited the place...
A whore-house once celebrated for its revelries... now stinks of rotten semen slithering through its polychromatic chambers
A city once flourishing with music and dance... now lies in the ruins of memories and the dearth of unfulfilled desire...
Hostels, hotel rooms, restaurants, movie theaters, trains...
every bit of this earth we dwell upon...
has been traversed sometime or another by another person...
every place you might stay in might have been infested with the soul of another...
a part of us remains in the depths of places...in the depths of time...
Cities have mushroomed over the debris of the dead
Monuments have been erected on time's ashes...
History remains unfettered...
People die...
Past lives on...
Camouflaged in the history of time...
Time...
That can never be relived...
Sunday, 7 June 2009
Blue,Red and Black-A Dream of Despair, Desire and Death
Blue, Red and Black...Melancholy spreads itself upon my back.
Travelling to hell, I've lost my track.
Hopeless hope isn't the only setback.
Sinister sins are now ready for attack.
I see two slabs of walls inclined perpendicular to each other, suspended in space. No ceiling, no floor; no light no darkness; nothing below, nothing beyond - just this piece of existence in the depths of my vision. The wall is monochromatic - an evenly painted - dark as well as luminous, stark as well as gloomy - shimmering as the ultramarine sea, secluded as the azure sky, pure as sapphire - The brightest, deepest, most prominent shade of Cobalt Blue. At the centre where the two walls meet to form the corner I see your tall form...you are seated hugging your knees. Your face is buried in the shadows of abysmal desolateness. Your eyes are resplendent with tears... the lovely brown decaffeinated into a translucent hazel... You are wearing a pair of blue jeans and a plain, white un-tucked shirt. Your frizzy hair is tousled and your glasses lie off-centre... I emerge from the depths of nothingness... My eyes meet yours and you smile faintly...I feel pained and anguished to see you in loneliness... Feeling the desire to hold and comfort you, I move towards you...
Red, Black and Blue...
Sex and desire of every hue.
Buried lovers emerge anew.
Dark passions blur my view.
Where should I hide?I've no clue!
You and I are together...The walls are slowly stained with blood... like paint, the red blood of my body covers the walls...As we come closer to each other the colour deepens...from its rosy hue to flaming ruby! I slip my fingers into yours and hold you close to me. You run your fingers on my back and embrace me tightly...We feel each other's warmth for what seems like eternity! I caress your hair and you hold my face in your hands... I look deep into your eyes and we come so close that all we can feel is each other's breath. You feel the desire to kiss me,so you slightly brush your lips against mine...Exactly at that moment, even before we are fully aware of what we are doing, a flash of liquid light, white and blinding, interrupts us and we are detatched eternally!
Black, Blue and Red...
I hear desperate wails in my head.
Distorted dreams blot my bed.
Frozen tears I incessantly shed.
Woe! I'm perpetually dead...
I see myself... I am sitting huddled in the corner... exactly at the place where you were seated. The walls are now charred Black...it appears like burnt wood-dilapidated and ruined to the core! I see absurd, frenzied shadows of unidentifiable forms on the walls... these shadows are desperately trying to run away...from what?I am unaware of! They all are lamenting, wailing in agony and pain... they all seem restless, frantic and absorbed in a stupor of frenzy. Their cacphony is tormenting! Agitated, I try looking down and see mutilated hands of different men pointing their fingers at me. I hear sounds of laughter, ridicule and insults; people mocking fun at me! I cover my ears with the palm of my hands but as I do so, the noise grows louder! I look at the hands and try recognizing them...Among these hands I am horrified to find yours! I can even hear your voice along with the others! Harrassed and in utter disbelief, I tear off my clothes. A glass coffin emerges from oblivion and encloses me within itself... In complete brutality and heartlessness, I rip open my breast... I take out my bleeding heart and hold it in my hands. My heart is nothing but a grotesque, malformed amalgation of blood and flesh... shapeless and broken like a mirror into a thousand shards! The noises and shadows fade from the walls and is replaced by my own shadow... The bizarre semblance of hands disappear as well... All that is visible now, is my shadow on the wall, content and happy...I can also see my bloodied dead body, with its heart ripped apart. I hear a calm voice from afar...it sounds like a hymn, a chant, a prayer, a blessing! It says, ''I'll always be there for you, Don't worry Anukriti''...I recognize it...it seems like a lullaby soothing me into an endless sleep... At last I am happy and satisfied...for I am dead!A smile lingers over my face, and my body remains entombed in the glass coffin forever!
